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May 31 Growing UpLast week when Baker phoned, as he often does to ramble on about nothing and waste my minutes, I told him about the research station job I'll be starting Monday, and he said "Wow, thats pretty cool, so do you feel all grown up now?"
The short answer is no, I do not.
The long ranting bloggish answer is that it feels more like a transitional step towards being grown up, the prologue to the story of my adulty life. The plan is 3 co-op terms to save money and a last semester to finish up my degree and then I'll be moved out, in a serious relationship (magically), and either begining a real career or going for a masters.
I've been getting the odd feeling latley like I no longer fit where I am, that at some point over the past few years I should have out grown this and progressed with life. I've never really felt like an adult, but now I'm feeling that feeling like a teen isn't ok anymore.
Quarter life crisis perhaps? I know that when I'm at Mcdonalds or other such places I feel like I'm being served by young children, and the fact that there are people significantly younger than myself with jobs makes me feel both old and juvinile at the same time.
Anyway, the fact that a co-op job threw itself into my lap after all hope seemed lost means the first part of my growin up plan is on track. The second part (relationship) I hadn't really been considering much since I spent months persuing Natalie only to have things go sour before they could start. It wasn't until today that my single status again crept into the back of my mind and began knawing away, and it was only because last night I had a dream about the Commadore. I was at some big ol' fashioned family gathering with all the aunts, uncles, cousins, ect. and my aunt Carol had come from Ontario and secretly dragged the Comadore with her. One of my cousins was flirting with the Comadore but my aunt yanked her away and handed the two of us something I can't quite recall which somehow implied sex (the karma sutra, a barry white cd?) and suggested we head upstairs to an empty bedroom, which was creepy but somehow seemed like an alright idea despite the horde of relatives winking and giving thumbs up. At this point I awoke.
It was weird, but then most dreams are. It shouldn't have been surprising given the way my moms pushed the idea of the two of us, you'd think she was working on commision the way she brings it up, having done everything short of handing me a plane ticket and saying "I want grandchildren danmit!"
I checked my email and sure enough the Comadore had written. It was the usual stuff - what shes been doing at work, how the past couple weeks had been, what she was planning for the next couple - nothing earth-shattering by far. I've never had any intention of traveling to Ontario for a visit, inviting her here, or showing any interest in a relationship in any way because the distance isn't feasible and I barely know her. Yet despite this I have come to view the Commadore as a sort of "Plan B", as terrible as that sounds. It does seem as though we have a lot in common, and the notion of going out east for work/further studies and persuing a potential love interest isn't terrible assuming I don't find a special someone here worth sticking around for. (I also have doubts that any university that isn't U of L will accept me for grad studies given the sorry state of my GPA but thats a different matter entirely.)
I guess the fact that I currently have no love intrest and won't gain one working with a bunch of farm boys all summer, along with my average rate of almost asking one girl out per semester means that theres a real chance I won't find someone before my growing up plans come to fruition, and as such my brain is defaulting to plan b.
Its not a great plan, but theres a real possibility it might be the best plan, and thats sad.
I've even been considering telling the Commadore about my dream as a way to test the waters. I know its a bad idea but I'm not sure thats enough to stop me, so please leave a comment talking me out of it sometime before I get around to replying to her.
Also, I have a concept drawing of what I thought the Commadore would look like from before I saw any pictures of her. If I remember to learn how to use the scanner I'll post that picture here.
May 26 Its Artificially Awesome, Naturally.I had an orange today that tasted just like an orange popsicle, never before have I tasted a fruit that actually matched up with the candy version. I figured it was just a fact a life or a law of nature that artifical flavors were just overly sugary vauge facsimilies, but today my eyes were opened and my mind blown. It is now my mission to seek out other fruits which match their fake counterparts in flavor. This task may take a lifetime, but I don't really have anything else planned anyway.
While on the topic of great acheivements, its now been over a month since I last did anything remotley productive. I haven't yet lost my mind, though I have found new creative ways to procrastinate. while I may not be putting off papers or studying I do find my self saying things like "I probably don't need to shave today, its not like I plan on leaving the house...", "I should probably email the co-op office, but maybe I'll just stumble for a couple more hours first...", and "well I haven't flossed in 4 days so one one more won't make a difference...". It seems laziness begets laziness and sitting on my ass for weeks at a time has left me too apathetic for 60 seconds of moving my fingers back and forth, or to maintain other basic hygene routines. its even gotten to the point I put off walking to the fridge. Luckily, it turns out doing nothing for long periods of time also leads to offers for employment in a feild ever so slightly related to possible future career interests. Next week I'll be doing field work at the Ag research center. I'm sure it'll be a pretty crappy job, but its full time, it'll count towards a co-op designation on my degree, and it gets my foot in the door at the research center which pretty much covers all my goals for the summer.
One last thing, when you think of Alberta what comes to mind? Cowboys, oil, rampant close-minded conservitism? How about all of the province's highly trained naval regiments? Probably not, cause I'm pretty sure we have no ships sailing our seas of wheat. Yet somehow Alberta is home to the largest naval museum in the country. WTF?
May 25 My Daily Product UsageThe picture below is a list of all the brands I used last thursday.
Not including things like toilet seats and cutlery, just things with big 'ol noticable logos.
The idea was, as all great ideas are, stolen from some random internet page.
Click to enlarge.
May 06 Alternate Paths I often find myself sitting in my room playing videogames (this should come as a shock to no one) Occasionally while this is occurring my mom will show up, glance at my stack of 45 wii/cube games, 14 ds games, and 20 gameboy games and sigh. Following this sigh is a statement that all she sees is a big stack of wasted money. To this claim I may have traditionally defended myself by pointing out the couple hundred dollars she would spend on cigarettes each month, however now it would have to be pointing out the couple hundred dollars spent every month on nicotine gum, which is sadly a much weaker defense. The truth is I've always had the perfect reply to the accusation of wasted money, but to use such a reply would only open up a much larger can o' worms. My iron-clad defense would be that given the amount of time I've invested in those games the costs are actually very minimal, for example I paid $50 for Skies of Arcadia, a 60 hour RPG. Therefore after one play through It only cost me 83 cents for every hour of entertainment. And since I played it twice It actually cost less than 42 cents/hour. In contrast, minigolf costs $4 for half an hours entertainment, and you spend $20 at the theater for an hour and a half of entertainment. The obvious flaw in my argument is the logical transition from viewing videogames as an enormous waste of money to viewing them as an enormous waste of time, and I have no argument to support a life squandered away with ferocious button mashing. I've begun to consider just what else I could have accomplished had I not spent any time with nintendo. With all those extra hours I could have mastered another language or two, become a culinary master, read - or even written - novels. So naturally I took to the internet in an attempt to quantify what exactly I could have done with such a surplus of time. Private Pilots License - minimum 40 hours flight time. getting one step closer to my dream of being captain of an airship for just 40 hours?!? Sold! Certified Nursing Assistant - 75 hour training course, no pre-reqs I don't really wanna assist nurses but medical skills are pretty valuable and look good on a resume. Microsoft Certified Technology Specialist - 3 hours ahh, microsoft, what high standards you hold. It would be worth 3 hours just for being able to add that title to your business cards. Nigel Stewart, B.A.Sc. Biologist; Microsoft Certified Technology Specialist. First Aid Certification - 15 hours. probably A better use of time than the certified nursing assistant course, but I'd have had time coming out the wazoo, so why not do both? Certified Beer Judge - ??? I have no interest in this, but the system in place for becoming one sounds like way more fun than a lot of games I've played. You pay $50 and are entered into a huge database, everytime you judge beers you submit info about the beers, number of participants, results, ect. and then you get awarded experience points, the more points you gain the higher your rank. You start as a junior apprentice, and work your way through a couple dozen positions towards the ultimate rank of - I'm not making this up - "Level 3 GrandMaster Beer Judge", Awesome! Motorcycle Training - 8 hours Bicycles hate me. haven't ridden one in years, don't intend to ride one anytime soon. bicycle riding usually ends in painful injury, often times to the junk. I don't even need to be riding one, bikes just seem to have a way of seeking me out and attacking. There is no way I'm about to hop on a large combustible bike and travel at 60km/hour trough traffic. If you ever see me doing so rest assured that it is a suicide attempt. Still, upgrading my (non-existent) license for only 8 hours is appealing... Lifeguard - ??? In Canada, just to become a lifeguard assistant you need to prove your skills to an approved member of some all mighty lifeguard council, however, in California you can become a fully certified lifeguard through the mail. For $40 you get an instructive DVD and a test booklet, you then send in the test along with a signed document saying you can demonstrate the skills shown on the video and you didn't cheat on the test, and then if you passed the test you get sent your certificate. This is scary. If someone had $40 lying around and nothing better to do they could make their cat a certified lifeguard. Don't go swimming in California, Mr Fluffyboots won't save you. I thought California was one of the smart states, but its things like this that give me almost enough Canadian pride to counteract my Albertan shame. Adding up the times listed above gives 141 hours Adding up the times on my 4 smash bros melee saves gives more than 450 hours And thats only counting smash and doesn't include the many hours spent smashing at Adam's or Torbiak's. I could have done everything listed above 3 times for melee hours alone and still had hours to spare. crazy eh? Of course thats assuming the time spent playing videogames could be strung together in a productive way, but the truth is all those hours are down time, evening and weekend relaxation. Had I not spent that time controller in hand, It still would have been spent in front of a tv or a computer screen. sure I may have walked more, but I walk plenty already, or maybe I'd take up baking, but cookies aren't overly productive either. Theres also the distinct possibility all that time would have been used in an even less useful manner. I'm not saying I'd have turned to drugs and alcohol (though that beer judge program looks pretty sweet...) or joined a violent gang, but there is the very real chance I would have surrounded myself with an army of paper bunnies and built a large box out of k'nex that I would then sit in and watch an all day marathon of stargate on space - as a hypothetical example of the too-much-time induced crazies that totally didn't strike me Easter weekend a few years back. I suppose my point is that in the week and a half since schools been done the majority of my waking hours (about 13 and a half /day) have been spent playing videogames and yes, without said games I may have been motivated to find a job and be productive, but theres just as great a chance that I wouldn't have left the house and gone completely insane from boredom. So cheers to videogames, without which I could be a much better or much worse person, but either way, a different person, which would suck, because I'm awesome as is. |
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