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September 06 T.O.W.D.E. the Thirdwell my friends summer is comming to a close and as i prepare to return to all things sciencey on wednesday i felt it would be best to put an end to the reminising such that i may focus on the future. tis in this vein that i now bring you the third and (for the moment at least) last of the main chapters of the T.O.W.D.E series. if you havent read the last two chapters i suggest you dig through the archives to find them as they do follow a chronicalogical order and this chapter features the return of someone previously introduced (Loni). as i final note before i begin the arduous task of such a great volume of typing you should know that i completley forgot about the whole poll of the weak thing, but will soon continue with that, possibly temporarily setting aside the caracter competion. well with out further adieu settle in for...
Tales Of Woeful Dating Experiences
Chapter 3: Cass
Dark days settled in. School had become monotonous and without my beautiful bus girl I was left with only the annoying pestilence of Loni to suffer through. I oft considered telling her off once and for all, pleasantness be damned, yet in my time spent persuing Stacy i had gotten to know more of her friends and they were all nice, interesting, and mildly attractive people. Though for the most part i wouldn't have considered most of them to be dating material, I felt their friend qualities to be too high for me to deliver to Loni that which she had coming. I had suffered through Loni for half a year, I was sure I could keep it up.
Then one day there was a new face on the bus, a face just slightly too round for the thin body on which it was housed, but a face ever so nicely framed with long flowing blonde hair and it featured two large shimmering saphire eyes, the face of Christine
What started as large group conversations on the bus somehow dwindeled down to be between only Christine and myself, and what was almost even better was that being engaged in such conversations with Christine tended to keep Loni at bay and away. of course Stacey had been so kind as to give Loni my number before she left, and as such i was still forced to put up with her harassment, though only for the sake of her other (and now my own) friends.
It wasn't long before I learned some troubling news. It seemed as though Christine was somewhat into the whole goth scene, not to the extent you may think, merely that she would often wear black. Unfourtunatley, it also came to my attention that she was one of what we affectionately called "The Hallway People", those socially misfitted who resided whenever possible in the hallway which connected the caffiteria to the band room. I decided that this must have been a misguided mistake, and I ignored some of her socially disfunctional tendencies which gradually became aperent because such an endearing childlike innocence she constintly radiated.
Soon it came to be the depressing excuse to flounder for romance in the mist of February, and I had summoned all my courage and delusion to ask Christine out. She accepted. We were to meet on that day which happened to be a Friday (meaning no school in the afternoon) for a lunch date. It would be our first, and it would be glorious.
At this point the more observent of you readers may be questioning why this chapter is entitled "Cass" with all this talk of Christine. Well, when friday rolled around I went to our agreed upon meeting place and waited... and waited... and, like a chump, waited. An hour and a while latter the last of the people occupying the school had left, and i stood there oh-so-very alone.
I arrived home consumed by my cloud of depression to a ringing phone. On the other end, calling to make my day that much better was the queen of annoyance herself, Loni inviting me to join her and her friends in movies food and boardgames the following day at a pajama party. Now i wasn't so self involved as to miss the fact that this was simply Loni's attempt to get closer to me as she had been ever since Stacey left. I had been using the pretend-its-not-there-and-hope-it-goes-away method and only ever agreeing to see her as part of group my acting ignorrent had been successfull at keeping away, despite my having caught wind of her telling people at her school we were somehow involved. In dark cloud of depression i wasn't in the mood to work at finding a way out of going and simply let in, I agreed to go but I wasn't about to dress for the occasion.
Still engulfed in self-pitty I arrived at Loni's house as she was about to start a movie. Couch space occupied, I took to the floor, right next to Cass. As i sat down I accidently put hand such that it was touching Cass's hand, but then an odd thing happened. Despite both of us being very aware of the touching neither of us moved our hands. I am still unsure as to why I didn't move, as Cass was someone I barely knew, almost a stranger, and the small act of hand touching was not in anyway intentional. Perhaps in my current state i was simply to bitter to be accomidating, expecting her to move, or perhaps such a slight and tender touch simply felt right, catching me off guard enough as to leave it there too long to merely remove. What ever the case we sat there in very much the same way for quite some time.
Eventually she got up, though i remained and upon her return, she returned her hand to mine, only moreso. By the time we turned to board games the two of us were completley holding hands and sitting very close. Later on we found ourselves pretzeled together as Twister champs, and during the next movie full out cuddling as we layed together on a couch and under a blanket. We sharred an unspoken closeness till late into the night, and then, suddenly, it was over. It had been exactly what i needed, and probably wouldn't have happened otherwise.
The next day I called up my informant inside the mormon church, whom happened to now nearly every other mormon in town (and theres a lot of them) and got from him Cass's phone number. The number and phone in hand, but unsure of how to add words to such an amazing unspokenness, I stood unmoving for quite some time. Startled out of my daze, I jumped as the phone sprung to life in its noisefull way. I answered to find that it was Christine, apologizing for what had happened and attempting to cover it up with an obvious lie invoving grandmothers and airports. I went along with her story, such that she would feel better thinking i believed her, and I agreed to let her know when good timing would be for some alternet plan.
I now faced a conundrum. I had never veiwed Cass as potentially date-able, though the previous night had just felt so right. Christine I knew more about, and she was likley the more attractive of the two, though she did have her problems and it was likely I could expect to be stood up again as we grew closer. arriving presisley nowhere in my own thoughts I decided to take to the phone. I asked the advice of several people, though the only definative answer came from Jeff Quon, though for someone of such intelect I didn't find much comfort from the consult when his answer was "Christine cause she's hotter". After hours of hard thought I picked up the phone a final time.
Even the less astute of you readers should by now be able to guess who i called, yet things wouldn't be so straight forward. Cass informed me that we wouldn't be able to date until I had met her Grandma with whom she lives. I was not to let on that I had ever been at one of Loni's parties, or together with Cass outside of public. I was scared. on the arranged day I left the school bus wearing a sweater for the first time in years, and walked with Cass to her place of residence. As a side note, before that day I was completely unaware Lethbridge had trailer parks. Once inside the tornado fearing house unit I was fridgidly greeted by the most intimidating little old lady on the face of the Earth, I was doubtful she could power walk let alone run, and she lacked the strength to haul groceries, though i had no doubt she would have been fully capable ripping my insides out and stripping the flesh from my bones faster than a swarm of flying piranha. After wishing for death during a dating lecture more tense than humanly possible. I arranged to meet Cass on the weekend and fled for home.
Cass's Grandma ran a tight ship (though its doubtful her house would hold water) and Cass wouldn't be allowed to do things on school nights, or Sundays on account of all the neccessary God worshiping. Of course to see each other on both Friday night and Saturday would have been overkill, so that couldn't be allowed either.
When I went to Cass's house for our date we stood outside whilst her grandma got ready to go. It seems the grandmother had choosen a suitable movie for us to see, and were dropped off at the one and only movie mill to be picked up in exactly two hours, though this was only because her little brother was forced to join us.
Things continued much the same as things tend to do, though eventually we felt some slack. Cass's grandma seemed to like me, and would often invite me to dinner, which i was running out of excuses to avoid. I got to see her during the week, though only as a guest to her church activities. and eventually she was coming to my house under a guise of parental supervision which was nearly non-existant. I would even get off the bus at her school before walking home so that we could be together before it was time for her to practice for her school play.
However, this togetherness was never like the togetherness we had that night at Loni's. Though we were dating, everything we did was very much like the plutonic activities of good friends, though i never actually realized this at the time. For me things couldn't have been better, spring had srung, school was going well, famliy issues weren't, and I finally had myself a girlfriend -- I was perfectly happy in my own massively dillusional world.
Cass on the other hand, was not doing so well. Loni hadn't responded well to the news of the itemness between Cass and myself, resulting in a bitter fight and the cohersion of all of Cass's other friends to side with Loni, and not speak with Cass, at all. Cass suddenly found herself without a friend in the world, making school quite miserable. she also found herself having troubles dealing with her grandmother, and found herself just sitting in her room awaiting when we could next be together.
Naturally this longing lead Cass to want to move our relationship forward, after all, Grandmother or not, after three months of going out we should have been far past the plutonic crap, right?
Then one time when I came to visit her at her school she seemed very preoccupied with something. I inquired, she replied. I was told more thouroughly than ever before about her problems with friends and family, and by the time I had to leave she seemed quite releived. It was then my dream world popped, and the start of her continued spiral downward, the end was nigh as she leaned forward and gave me a good long kiss good-bye.
It was then I realized that we had never been remotely couple like since before we were actually a couple. This obviously struck me as odd and I began to question why I had not pursued things to further our relationship. That night the fimilar ding of MSN indicated that Cass had come online, I was now her only contact (in more ways than one) and so of course the message window promptly popped up. As we talked I eventually brought up the subject of our relationshipless relationship, partially because it was still bothering me and partially due to a lull in the conversation. While Cass was busy trying to justify why things were the way they were -- the grandma issues, mutual shyness, ect. -- the real reason dawned on me.
As an aside, last weekend my mom rented "The Wedding Date" a surprisingly not cheesey romantic comedy, the moral of which was that we all have exactly the relationship we desire. Load of crap, right? Well I agree though reflecting upon my time with Cass I understand better what this is supposed to mean.
Cass and I only engaged in friend like activities because I never wanted her to be more than my friend. The few times we had met before i was so consumed with despiration on that day following Valentines Day I had never considered her to be more than friend material. As harsh as it sounds, I liked the idea of having a girlfriend much more than the girlfriend I had. I never really wanted to date Cass, I simply wanted Cass as a friend and to be dating someone. I had gotten both of things, but then I knew it was all done. She definatley wanted more, and now I desprately didn't. She had given up everything to be with me, even if it wasn't fair to her for us to stay together, how could I end it and leave her with nothing?
Well about a week and a half later, after returning home from a dance at Cass's church, or rather, a horrid night of fleeing from slow dances under the (true) guise of being a horrible dancer, I was greeted by that distinct ding of Cass. She spoke, I mis-spoke, she enquired, I attempted an explanation. A couple hours later and I had broken up with her, on MSN. I know, classy isn't it? I explained to her how I hadn't intended to break up with her like that and how I really wanted to stay friends, but it all sounded very much like a line, and there isn't a chance she believed me.
Now for a pinch of irony to finsh off this tale. When I indeffinatley post-poned my date with Christine (whom had never had a relationship last longer than milk) she soon met a nice normal guy and began to date him, she is still dating him. When I last spoke with her it seemed as though most, if not all of her socially disfunctional tendencies were gone, she was even dressed in bright colours. Cass on the other hand... well you see, a few months after we broke up I stumpled upon a web site she had made. On this site she had a list (with pictures) of all her friends, and all of them were internet people she had never actually met. She had also posted a picture of herself, showing off her new facial (non-ear) peircings and her goth like make up and clothes.
This concludes my Tales Of Woeful Dating Experiences. These three chapters of course do not cover all of my dating humilations, but rather only the main, significant ones. Supplimentery subchapters may later be added, or should something big come up in the next while, a fourth chapter. My asprations lead me to hope that not too far from now I'll be able to share a Tale Of Wonderful Dating Experience, but don't hold your breath.
The End, for now
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